


The unspoken words

by hanatsuki



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-22
Updated: 2014-01-30
Packaged: 2018-01-09 15:42:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1147748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanatsuki/pseuds/hanatsuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru has become depressed since Rin told him he would never swim with him again. Skipping school and meals, whilst avoiding people. After Rin gets a text from his sister, Gou, he becomes worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

_”I will never swim with you again…Ever!”_ Those were the words that were etched into Harus mind. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t get them out of his mind. They hunted him down, repeating over and over again. Since that time those words had been uttered, Haru had barely spoken at all. Always having a distant look on his face. The glimmer and shine that used to be in his eyes had faded. Not even on the mention of water or mackerel could that glint in his eyes been seen. Makoto had become very worried about Haru. Whenever he came to pick him up in the morning, Haru just soaked in his bathtub, not even being in the process of making breakfast. Once he had told Haru he must eat breakfast before going to school, but Haru had just stared at him with empty eyes. Whenever Makoto made mackerel for him in the mornings, he just shoved it into the freezer. In school, it was obvious that Haru didn’t pay any attention. With seat by the window, he just looked outside.

At lunch one day, Makoto said “Lets eat lunch, Haru. I’ve made mackerel.” Haru just stared blankly at Makoto, but ate the food offered to him silently. “We have a joint practice with Samezuka today” Makoto smiled and said. Haru flinched. _“I will never swim with you again. Ever.”_ Haru tilted his head away, though Makoto couldn’t miss the hurt look that passed on Harus face. Suddenly Haru stood up, leaving his half eaten food. “I’m not going” he whispered. Slamming the door to the roof shut, Haru walked down the stairs briskly. It was only about a week since those words had been said and Haru _did not_ want to see Rin. He wasn’t ready, if he ever would be. Deciding to skip the rest of the day of school, Haru went to his classroom, grabbed his bag and went straight home. Not even the thought of being alone in the Iwatobi outdoor pool could make him stay in school. Not even when he got home was the bathtub tempting. Not feeling like eating anything, or doing anything at all for that matter, Haru just went to his room an dropped down on his bed. Lying on his side, he stared at the wall. The feeling of being empty didn’t want leave him. Did he have any purpose in life anymore? Nothing could bring him joy anymore. Not mackerel and not even water, which had until recently been his _only_ joy in life. Slowly Harus eyes fluttered close. It didn’t take long for his thoughts to fade out into nothing.

When Haru woke up, the clock beside his bed was 5am. Pushing himself up on his elbows, he yawned. Feeling sluggish after having slept for so long, he slowly swung his legs out of the bed. While getting his dressed, he put on a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. For the first time, he didn’t have his pair of swimwear underneath his jeans. Suddenly he stopped in his actions and looked at his door. His school uniform hung there. Looking at it for a few seconds, he frowned and just left his room. Going down the stairs into the kitchen, he stopped and stared at the stove for a few seconds. Instead of going to the refrigerator and make breakfast, he walked to the door and grabbed a sweater.

It was still quite dark outside. Strolling slowly around the neighbourhood, it was completely empty. No sounds could be heard. Not even the sound of a bird chirping or the sound of a car driving past. Not caring where he was going, Haru just walked aimlessly. After a while there were fewer and fewer houses around him. Soon he found himself on a trail. Huge trees surrounded him. The sun was starting to rise and shone through the leaves. Haru shielded his eyes. It was becoming bright. As Haru continued to walk on the path, the wind grew harsher and harsher. The sound of rustling leaves surrounded Haru.

When Haru had reached the end of the path, he was standing on a grassy patch on a cliff by the ocean. The sun beginning to rise in the horizon, the ocean shone with a thousand small lights on it. The wind was harsh and blew his hair. Waves crashed against the cliff, water foaming and spraying. Shocked by the sight before him, Haru just stood there. Even though it was his beloved water and such a beautiful sight, Haru felt his heart clench painfully. It felt as if he couldn’t breath properly, choking him. Clutching his t–shirt, Haru tried to even his breathing that came out in small puffs. That didn’t really help, as Harus field of vision blurred and he fell to the ground, hitting his head on a small rock.

Makoto entered Harus house. Makoto had done that ever since they were children and Haru never bothered to lock his door. When Makoto entered the house though, he felt like something was terribly wrong. “Haru?” he called out. No answer. He then went into the kitchen, then the living and then his bedroom. Haru wasn’t in of these rooms. Then, Makoto thought, he’s probably soaking in the bathtub. Makoto opened the door to the bathroom expecting Haru to be there. Turns out Haru wasn’t. It was empty. Now Makoto became really worried. Where could he have gone? He had noticed Haru had been acting a bit weird ever since Rin had said those words to Haru. Though he never expected Haru to become like he had. Taking a chance, Makoto flipped open his cell phone and dialled Haru. He heard a ringing sound coming from Harus bedroom. There, on the desk, was Harus phone. Makoto had failed to notice it before when he checked if Haru was there. Sighing heavily, Makoto went down the stairs and out of the front door. “Maybe he had already gone to school…?” though he highly doubted that, the way Haru had acted the past week. Outside the house, Makoto glanced back one last time, as if Haru would magically walk out of door. Sighing heavily, Makoto began walking towards school.

Worried and absentminded, he didn’t notice Gou that suddenly appeared at his side suddenly, saying “Good morning!” with a smile on her face. Startled, Makoto replied back with a faint smile. Gou, who thought it was strange for Makoto to go to school without Haru at his side, saying “Where is Haru?”. Makoto hesitated before answering. Should he tell her that he didn’t know where he actually was…? Gou who noticed that Makoto hesitated, said “You can tell me, you know. We’re friends right?” Looking at Gou with a surprised look on his face, smiled softly and said “Of course, I actually don’t know where Haru is. I went to his house this morning, but he was nowhere to be found. He had left his cell phone on his desk, too…” Gou just stared in shock at him. Then abruptly she shouted “WHAT!?!”. The people around them started to cast glances at them. Makoto noticed this and told Gou “Maybe we should go somewhere to talk about this?” “Right.” Gou replied back. Then, she suddenly thought of this. Flipping up her cell phone, she quickly texted her brother. All that she wrote was _“Haru is missing.”_ Not even waiting for a reply, she just flipped it close again and walked away with Makoto.

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Haru has become depressed since Rin told him he would never swim with him again. Skipping school and meals, whilst avoiding people. After Rin gets a text from his sister, Gou, he becomes worried.

Rin was lazily lying in his bunk bed, skimming through a magazine. He was pretty bored. His eyes didn’t really focus on what he was doing, his thoughts drifting away. Haru. He hadn’t seen him since he had uttered those words to him. Knewing Haru avoided him, he had gotten a bit annoyed. Even though he had won that time, Haru was his biggest rival. Still he enjoyed racing. Recently he hadn’t been able to do that, though. At their joint practice with the Iwatobi swim team, Haru hadn’t shown up. When he tried asking Makoto, he avoided the question by changing subjects. It was clear that he didn’t want to answer him. Being pissed of at that, he didn’t speak to them for the rest of the practice. Throwing the boring magazine away on the floor, Rin put his arms behind his head. Why couldn’t there be anything fun to do? All of his classes had been cancelled for some reason. Self study for the whole day. Sighing, he took out his phone from his pocket and noticed he had gotten a text from Gou, his sister.  Frowning, he opened the message and read the one single sentence in the message. _“Haru is missing.”_ His eyes turned wide and he read the message several times. Bolting upright and crossing his legs, he swiftly wrote a reply, _“Since when?!”._ “Fuck!” Rin thought. He knew there was something wrong with Haru, but he was missing? It was hard to believe. Then again, Haru wasn’t the type to voice his thoughts. Noticing that after several minutes, he still hadn’t gotten a reply from Gou, he started to panic. Even though he didn’t really want to admit it, he still cared a great deal about Haru. Maybe more than he thought. By the way his heart started throbbing against his ribcage and feeling a lump starting to grow in his throat. “Damn it! Why won’t she answer?!” Rin thought angrily. Clutching his phone tightly, he got out of his bed and grabbed a jacket. “Since she won’t answer, I might as well go and pay Harus house a visit in the mean time”, he thought while walking briskly out of his dorm room with his brows furrowed deeply.

Tying his hair into a small ponytail, he decided he’d make a run for it to Harus house. Maybe then he would have sorted out his thoughts by the time he got there. It was a chilly morning and no one seemed to care that he left the school grounds. Since he was a swimmer it was nothing strange about going for a run instead of study. The wind was rather harsh and kept blowing his bangs into his face, but that wasn’t really so unusual. Since it was already the end of November. Not many people around either, even though it was rush hour. Going at a steady pace and having found his rhythm, his thoughts started drifting away. His breathing came out in small white puffs. Why was he so concerned about Haru anyways? It wasn’t like he cared about winning or losing. He knew that since long ago, that Haru never even cared about times. Just his talk about “feeling the water”. That was something that Rin didn’t understand. Sure, he loved swimming, but competition was very important to him. It’s beating people and improving time that really mattered to him. It wasn’t like him to get this worked up about someone though and he hoped that he when he found Haru, maybe his answer to that question would come to him.

After having run a great distance, Rin arrived at Harus house. He had worked up quite a sweat and was rather exhausted. The distance to Harus house from his school was longer then he initially thought. He bent down and rested his arms on his knees for a few minutes to calm himself down. No matter what, he didn’t want to meet Haru (if he did, that is) drenched in sweat. Walking up to Harus door slowly, he hesitated. The lock to the door would probably be open, since Haru didn’t really care about that. If he found him though, what would there be to say? Knowing Haru avoided him, he probably didn’t even want to see him at all. Still, he was worried. Resolutely, he grabbed the door handle and yanked the door open. Not surprised it was unlocked, he ventured inside. The first thing he noticed was that it was completely quiet. Not the faintest sound could be heard. He shivered. It was forever since he had been in Harus house and felt a bit nervous, being uninvited and all. Walking further inside, he came to the kitchen. There was no sign of that anyone had used it. Or maybe Haru was a clean freak, he seriously didn’t know. Next was the living room, which was also completely empty. No sign there either. Next was the upper floor and he slowly walked up the stairs, which creaked a bit. Knowing that Haru loved water ridiculously, he went to the bathroom. I front of the door, which was closed, he also hesitated a bit. What if he had fallen asleep in his bathtub and drowned? Panic creeping into his veins, he swallowed. What would he do if he saw such a sight? He gulped. After having made up his made for a minute, he yanked the door open. With a sigh of relief, he saw that Haru wasn’t in the bathroom at all. For a second there though, he thought his heart was going to stop. Next was the bedroom. Which was also empty. He also noticed a cell phone on the desk. Rin felt his heart sink. Where could Haru have gone? He had expected Haru to be home and that message from Gou had been overreacting. Which wasn’t the case apparently. He ran his hand through his hair. What was he to do now? Trying to find Haru obviously, but he didn’t really have any clue of where to start. Realizing he didn’t really know Haru at all, he couldn’t come up with any place he could be.  

The first thing Gou said to Makoto when they had walked away from the curious glances people shoot them, “I bet oni-chan is worried about Haru”. Makoto looked a bit surprised, for once and just said “Eh, really? Why?” Gou sighed. “Because I think he cares more about Haru than he wants to admit. I also sent him a text a while, saying Haru is missing.” Now Makoto looked even more surprised. He was worried about Haru, but this wasn’t the first day he hadn’t gone to school. It was just that he wasn’t even at home today. Pausing for a bit, Makoto said “Was that really necessary?” Gou just stared at him for a second. “But of course! Don’t you want them to reconcile? And oni-chan could use getting a bit worried” she just replied. “Can’t you at least call him?” Makoto said after a minute. “Fine! I’ll call him!” Gou replied. Flipped her phone open, she dialled Rins number.

Sitting on Haru's front porch, Rin was startled when his phone started vibrating. Frowning, he flipped it open to see who the caller was. Gou? He thought. But then again it wasn’t so strange for her to call him. Since she hadn’t answered his text, recalled. Still, he didn’t want to sound to worried when he answered, so he just casually said “Hey” when he answered it. Gou didn’t even bother to say hi, she just got straight to the point and said “Have you found Haru?” That wasn’t the thing Rin had thought Gou would ask and just blurted out angrily “Why would I even be looking for him?!” In a calm voice, Gou just replied “Well, I thought you might be worried about him. Where are you right now?” SHIT, Rin thought. Why was it that his sister could easily figure him out? Pausing for a bit before answering, he said in a low voice “….Harus house.” I knew it! Gou thought. “So, did you find him?” she replied. “No, he wasn’t there” Rin said with a sigh. Deciding to give Rin a little push, Gou said “Then have you checked by the ocean?” Rin was too surprised to answer. Exactly why hadn’t he thought of that? Haru loved, no lived for water. Of course he might be by the ocean! Feeling his energy coming back to him and a triumphant smile on his face, which displayed his pointy teeth, he just hung up on Gou.

“Wait, what!?!?” Gou said to Makoto. “What’s the matter?” Makoto said. “Oni-chan just hung up on me! Argh!” she replied angrily. Oh well, now he might actually be searching for Haru. He did sound a little worried. No, I’m sure he’s going to check by the ocean right now. Seeing the look on Gous face, which seemed to be in deep thought, he said “Well, we’ll leave Haru to Rin then. Shall we head for school now?” Startled, Gou just nodded. She couldn’t help but smirk and they headed off to school.


	3. Chapter three

Rin, who had gotten his energy back from hearing from Gou that he should check by the ocean, decided to make a run for it. It was nearly lunch time and the sun was shining giving off a bit of warmth in the otherwise chilly weather. Feeling refreshed, Rin couldn’t help but grin. The sun felt warm on his face and the wind ruffled his hair. Why was he so happy, though? It wasn’t like Haru would be happy to see him. He knew that for a fact. Still, they had to talk to each other again sooner or later. Maybe it was better for them to do it alone together, without the others around. This was still something he himself had caused and it was also something just between the two of them. He really did want to sort this mess out, since he was really worried about Haru. The wind started to get harsher, which meant he was getting closer to the ocean. In this month, the ocean could get really harsh and all the fishermen out there had to be careful. It wasn’t like people could just go to the beach and jump into the sea. That was just too cold. Maybe that was something only Haru would do? But still he must be crazy if he actually did that? Getting a bit uneasy, Rin quickened his pace.

When Rin reached the sandy beach of the ocean, the wind was roaring. It made his clothes whirl and his hair to keep getting into his eyes, even though he had it in small ponytail. The waves came crashing and water sprayed. Taking in the scenery before him, Rin paused for a minute. Small lights reflected by the sun were scattered all over the ocean. This is beautiful, Rin thought. Just like Harus eyes. They always have this light in them, sometimes stronger and sometimes weaker. It was one of the things Rin liked about Haru, his eyes were as deep as the ocean. Unreadable. Even though he saw that light in them, he couldn’t really figure out what it meant. One thing that that was sure was that Haru always had that strong light in them whenever he saw water. Shaking his head, Rin broke out of his chain of thoughts and returned to the task at hand. Finding Haru. He looked back and forth on either side of him on the beach, but he was completely alone. Feeling his heart sink, Rin ran his hands through his hair. I was so sure he would be here, he thought. How disappointing. His head was starting to ache, probably from stress and worrying. Damn, since when was I such a worrywart? He thought, scowling. Wait, what if he’s somewhere else where he could see the ocean? Looking up to his right, further away there were some small cliffs. Where he was standing, it was impossible to actually see if someone was there. Thinking about it for a while, he decided it was worth it to check them out. It was still quite some time until he had to get back to the dorms. He hadn’t heard anything from Gou either which meant that Haru wasn’t in school. Heading back to where he came from, he began walking briskly to one of the closest cliffs. He knew it was a long shot, but as the time passed he could feel his chest throb.

Finding his way out to a cliff was tougher than he thought. There were just trees everywhere. No path either. After searching for a good long while, he finally found a small trail, which seemed to lead out to a cliff.  Whilst walking on the trail, the harsh wind made the trees rustle. The trail seemed to go on forever. It was hard to walk on with roots and small rocks. Branches from the trees around whipped his face. Damn these branches! Rin thought while gritting his teeth. As he kept on trudging on this hellish path, he suddenly noticed a figure lying on its side in the distance. Shit! That must be Haru, Rin thought. Quickening his pace and almost running, he finally reached the limp figure on the ground. It was Haru. Rin bent down on his knees and just stared at him. His face was so pale and he had dark circles under his eyes. If his skin was pale from the beginning, it was ghost white now. He felt his heart throb painfully. This is all my fault! Tears threatened to pour down on his cheeks but he managed to hold them back. The first thing he had to do now was somehow get him back to his house. Maybe I should check for injuries first? There’s no way someone would just be laying here like that. Gently pulling Harus head up with both of his hands, he felt something wet. He removed his hand to look at it and it there was blood on it. Shit! He must have hit his head. Sitting down on the grass, he put Harus head on his lap. Inspecting the wound, he saw that it wasn’t that bad. The amount of blood just made it look more serious than it was. Putting his arms under his knees and back, he decided he’d just carry him back to his house. When he lifted him up, he realized he was really light. A bit too light for a swimmer, since they had lots of muscle. Maybe he’s not eaten properly? Carrying him bridal style through the forest, he was careful not to let branches whip his face. Treading slowly avoiding tree roots and small rocks.

Finally managing to get out of the forest unscathed and Haru was still being unconscious. No sign of waking either. Not even his eyes had twitched. When he emerged from the forest, there were actually people around by now. Rin could feel his face starting to heat up. Carrying a full-grown male felt a bit weird now. Especially since he was carrying him bridal style, too. Walking at a fast pace with Haru in his arms, he could literally feel the stares of the people around him. Not daring to glance around, he just tried to walk with a straight face. Finally, Rin reached Harus house. Walking up the front door, he opened it using his elbow. Not even bothering to take of his shoes, he walked right in. Going up the stairs turned out to be tricky. It was quite narrow. Panting from exhaustion, Rin managed to get up the stairs safely. When he got to the bedroom, he gently put Haru down on the bed. I guess I should clean his wound, Rin thought. He headed for the bathroom. Absentmindedly scratching his neck, he took some paper towels and wetted them lightly. When he got back to Haru, he still hadn’t even moved. Sitting down on his knees, he slowly pushed away the hair around the wound and cleaned away the blood that had dried. Making sure to be careful, since it must hurt a lot. After having cleaned it thoroughly, he threw away the bloodstained papers. Noticing that Harus bangs had gotten in his eyes, he pushed them away to the side. Not being able to help himself, he ran his hand through Harus jet-black hair. It’s so soft, he thought. Propping himself on one elbow, chin on his hand he just watched him. Lying there so innocently, he looked like a child. Completely relaxed. Still, he was really pale and thin, but beautiful. Especially these ocean blue eyes, which he couldn’t see. Sometimes, he felt as if he could drown in these eyes. They were deep and also that glimmer he could sometimes see. Though he couldn’t figure out what it meant, only when Haru looked at water. Which was a given, since it’s Haru. Well, no one was as good as Makoto at reading him, that’s for sure. It was a bit weird, like they were doing telepathy. He smirked at the thought. I wonder what goes in his mind, Rin thought. Haru never really expressed himself and if he did it was rare. Rin just wished Haru would voice his thoughts. Though that was probably easier said than done. Yawning, he stood up and stretched. Maybe I should call Gou. He had totally forgotten about that. But, what if she and Makoto decided to come over? They definitely would. For some reason, he wanted to have Haru for himself just a bit longer. He seemed so fragile and vulnerable in his current state. He decided not to call Gou. Just until he wakes, he thought. Feeling a bit tired from running and carrying Haru, he sat down on the floor, resting his arms on Harus bed. Putting his head on his arms. He’s got unexpectedly long eyelashes, was the last thing Rin thought before drifting off to sleep.

When Rin woke up, he stretched his arms and slowly opened his eyes while yawning. Rubbing of sleep, he opened them completely. Only to notice that Haru was wide awake and staring at him intently. “Rin” Haru said. Rin froze. What the hell was he supposed to do now? He hadn’t thought that far…


	4. Chapter four

Rin and Haru kept staring at each other for what seemed like hours. Finally, Rin broke out of his trance and tried to sound casual when he said “Hey”. Haru didn’t answer. He just kept staring at Rin. If Rin couldn’t usually read Harus eyes, he could now. There was sadness in his eyes and emptiness. Feeling his chest clench painfully when he saw that in these ocean blue eyes, he instinctively ran his hands through his hair. He couldn’t believe he was the one who had made Haru like this. Haru was the first one to finally avert his gaze. Slowly, he managed to sit up in the bed. It was obvious that he was weak. Rin, not being able to stand the awkward silence anymore, said “Haru… why won’t you say anything…?” Literally feeling his heart break, he had to know what Haru was thinking. He was scared to death that they’d continue like this forever. He didn’t want that. For some reason unknown, he really wanted Haru to be close to him.

After a few tense minutes, Haru finally said “You hurt me, Rin.” As tears started to fall down on his cheeks. Rin was shocked, Haru _never_ cried. This was the first time he had ever seen him cry. Oh god, what have I done, he thought. Feeling that words weren’t enough in this situation, he sat down on Harus bed and pulled him close into a hug. “I’m sorry…” he whispered into Harus ear. Too many emotions were spinning around. This was the best thing he could think of doing. What he didn’t expect though, was Haru wrapping his arms around his back and clenching his t-shirt. He even leaned his forehead on Rins shoulder. The sobbing increased. The only thing Rin could do was to continue whisper “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” into Harus ear and drawing him closer. For Rin, it was hard not to start crying himself because he felt miserable and guilty. How could he have made Haru cry like this?

After several minutes, Harus sobbing stopped but he didn’t let go of Rin. Not that Rin minded, though. His heart started to fill up with a feeling he couldn’t put a name on. It was taking over his body and making his heart swell for the figure clinging to him. Wait, what’s this feeling? He thought. Suddenly Haru sat up straight and gazed into Rins eyes, arms still wrapped around him and clenching his t-shirt.  Apart from the sadness that still dwelled in Harus eyes, there was also something else. His eyes had that shine that Rin sometimes could see in his eyes, but didn’t know what it meant. 

Feeling a bit embarrassed for being stared at so intently and not being able to avert his eyes, Rins face turned into a bright red colour. At this, Harus eyes widened a little. Haru opened his mouth and said “Rin, you know, I always wanted to be with you. When you were gone, I waited for you. Then, when you finally came back, I was happy. But after you raced me and said these words…I…” at this point Haru couldn’t go on further. He lowered his face and was about to start crying again, shoulders shaking.

Rin put one of his hands behind Harus head and pushed his face onto his chest. “I’ve been so stupid. I never realized you felt like this. I thought I’d be able to move on after racing you. Apparently the only thing I wanted was to race you, though now I know it was more than that…” Rin said after being amazed at how much Haru had said in one breath. That definitely wasn’t like Haru, at all. Maybe he realized he wouldn’t understand unless it was put into words. Swallowing, he said “…I want to be with you, too”. At this, Rin could feel that Haru stiffened. Wait, what am I even saying. Just exactly what do I mean by that? And why did Haru suddenly stiffen? Feeling his heart beating at an even faster pace and his stomach tightening he panicked while waiting for Haru to say something. After a few minutes, Haru still hadn’t said anything. Rin couldn’t wait anymore, why wasn’t he saying anything? “Hey, Haru, say something, will you…?” he muttered, not expecting Haru to hear. Why was he so damn embarrassed anyway? “Did you really mean what you said?” Haru replied with a soft voice, lifting his face to look Rin in the eyes. Rins eyes widened, because on Harus face there was a light blush. Wanting to hide his embarrassment Rin covered his face with one hand and muttered “Yeah…”. Glancing at Haru, he noticed that he actually smiled softly. A wave of heat rushed through him. Damn! What’s with that face! It’s way too cute! He thought. 

Both of them didn’t say anything for several minutes. Rin blushing furiously and Haru smiling softly. Given the situation they were in, it was becoming a bit awkward. But suddenly Haru spoke up and said “Rin. I want to see your face.” Rin, who was still covering his face with one hand couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He refused to remove his hand not wanting Haru to see the look on his face. Haru, determined to look at Rins face again, wanting to see what kind of face he was making, removed his hands from Rins back. Leaning back a little, he pried the one hand that was covering Rins face away. “Haru, wait! What are you doing!” Rin almost shouted with a high pitched voice. He quickly tried to cover his face with his other hand but Haru was faster and now holding both of his wrists in a firm grip.

Now he felt totally exposed. The furious blush on Rins face grew stronger and even reached his ears. Harus eyes hade widened in surprise and was staring at his face intently. “Ugh…” Rin let out a groan and furrowed his brows. Being embarrassed as he was, he still couldn’t help but look into these ocean blue eyes. His heart felt like it was going to explode at this rate. “Stop staring at me like that, damn it!” Rin blurted out. As usual he couldn’t figure out what was going on in the mind of the guy who now held his arms and was staring at his face. “Rin…you’re…embarrassed?” Haru said in a surprised voice. “Isn’t that obvious, you idiot!” he replied. “Let me go already!” Shit, this was getting annoying. “No.” Haru replied seriously. He started to squirm trying to get away from his tight grip and though Haru was weak from not taking care of himself properly, he still didn’t let go.

Suddenly Haru yanked Rins arms close and wrapped them around his own back. Without hesitation he cupped Rins head in his hands and planted a kiss on his lips. That was one thing he had not expected but what surprised him more was how _right_ it felt. Haru broke away right after having kissed him and averted his eyes. A faint red tint graced his cheeks. Wait, is he seriously blushing?!?! I can’t believe this! Rin thought. “Cute…” he mumbled. Having his arms free now, he wrapped them around Harus waist and pulled him down with him making Haru lie on top of him. He sneaked one hand into the soft jet-black hair and the other clutched Harus waist tightly. His body was so warm and his slightly smaller build fit perfectly with his own slightly broader and muscled body. Harus head was lying in the crook of his neck. Rin shivered a little when he could feel the hot breath against his neck.

Haru then snaked one of his arms into Rins hair whilst softly kissing his neck. This made Rin shudder and he let out a gasp. “Haru…don’t…” he whispered. Instead of stopping, he just continued and moved further and further up on Rins neck. Tightening his grip around Harus waist making him unable to go further, Rins breath started to get heavier. “Rin…” Haru whispered in a low voice when he noticed that the others breathing was getting heavier. “Loosen your grip a little…You’re crushing me…” Rin immediately loosened his grip. He didn’t want to hurt him.

Haru then propped himself on his forearms, hovering over Rin. Before Rin managed to react Haru bent down and kissed him. When Rin felt the sensation of Harus soft lips pressing against his own, he opened his mouth slightly and a gasp escaped his throat when Haru slipped in his tongue. A jolt went through his body. His mind was in a daze, only being able to concentrate on the tongue that was exploring his mouth. He barely knew what he was doing anything more. This was completely new to him. Never had he been so close to anyone before and not being able to resist anymore he slipped his hand under Harus sweater. Haru gasped and broke the kiss.

He slowly caressed the bare skin and felt Harus hard muscles tense beneath his touch. “Rin…I…really like you” Haru whispered whilst looking at Rins face. Rin tensed and his heart started pounding. Those eyes that looked at him were shiny and glossy. The always so stoic face had crumbled and showed an expression Rin had never seen on Haru before. It was warm. That made Rin break, overflowing with all sorts of emotions. Guilt, sadness, joy. His face teared up and he started crying softly, removing his hands from Harus back to cover his face. “Rin. Why are you crying? Don’t cry…” he could hear Haru whisper. “I can’t help it, this is too much...” Feeling fingers gently pry his arms away from his face he didn’t resist. A deep frown had formed on Harus face and at the same time he looked a bit scared. “Haru… I really like you too…But I’m afraid of hurting you again…” Rin said in between sobs. Haru didn’t say anything, just gently kissed the corner of his eyes as if to stop the tears from flowing.

Haru had continued to kiss him gently whilst he was crying, until he finally managed to stop. Now that both of them had made things clear between them, words weren’t needed. Haru lay down beside Rin resting his head on Rins chest. Feeling exhausted by all the emotions and the events that had happened earlier in the day, a sudden tiredness hit Rin. Though his heart wouldn’t calm down and he was sure Haru could definitely hear it thumping loudly. But he didn’t care. Never in his wildest imagination had he pictured him and Haru together like this. Finding one of Harus hands, he entwined their fingers. Just when he was about to drift off to sleep, he heard Haru ask “We’ll be together like this, from now on, right?” “Of course” Rin said and smiled.  

 

 


	5. Chapter five

Rin woke up the next morning having slept better than in a long time. Upon opening his eyes, Harus face was in front of him. Their legs were entangled and Haru had wrapped one arm around his waist. Enjoying the moment of peace, Rin didn’t have the nerve to wake him up. It was warm and cozy in bed and he couldn’t care less for school at the moment. Or his roommate at the dorms for that matter, either. He was probably freaked out by now, but he didn’t even have his number. Yawning, he carefully tried to lift Harus arm only to have it strongly wrapped around him and Haru yanking him closer. Now he was staring into those deep blue eyes. Haru was the first one to break the silence and blushed slightly when he softly said “Good morning”, and not waiting for Rins reply he planted a kiss on his mouth.

This made Rin flinch and his face turned beet red. He tried to sit up to hide his embarrassment but Haru, who had expected this to happen, held him in place firmly. “I don’t want to get up just yet” Haru said in a sleepy voice and kissed Rin again. This time Rin didn’t try to get up, but his blush turned a shade deeper. This is just too cute, I never knew Haru was like this in the morning, he thought and chuckled. He snaked one hand into his hair and ruffled it slightly.

Suddenly remembering the events that had happened yesterday and the state Haru had been in he said with a frown “Are you alright?” “Yeah…just a bit hungry” Haru replied and sighed. “Really?” Rin said, worry clouding his face. He wanted to make sure. Having hurt him deeply, he couldn’t help but worry. Haru had been depressed after all and one didn’t recover from it that easily. He was still so thin, although he looked a bit better this morning. Especially with that blush adoring his face.

Interrupting Rin in his thoughts, he heard a small whisper say “I’m fine, really…” Still, he felt a bit worried but decided to let it slide for now. As if to make Rin feel like he meant what he had said, he removed his arms from him and sat up. Stretching his arms and yawning he said “Shall we eat breakfast, I’ve got mackerel”. Rin twisted his face and replied “Ugh, sure, but don’t you have anything else? And I’d also like to shower and change clothes…” Rin remembered that he was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, which didn’t smell too good by now, he realized. Haru smiled softly and replied “I’ve only got mackerel and you can shower if you like, if you don’t mind borrowing some of my clothes…” At this, Haru averted his eyes.

Suddenly, Rin felt a buzz and sat up with his legs crossed. Confused, he took his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open. It was a text from Gou. Shit, I had totally forgotten about her he thought and furrowed his brows. Haru just looked at him quizzically. Tch, might as well see what she wants, he thought. After opening the text, his eyes widened as he read. It said “Where are you? Is Haru alright, did you manage to find him? Anyways, you do know that Makoto picks him up for school every morning, right? He’s already on his way there, you know, since we never heard from you…” Rin panicked. How was he going to explain having stayed the night at Harus place to Makoto? Not like they had done anything, really, but just the thought of Makoto finding them together like this made his heart race at an alarming rate. Shit, he thought and gripped his phone tightly.  

Not noticing that Haru had shifted and now sat behind him looking over his shoulder, reading the text too, flinched when he felt arms wrapping around his waist. Putting his head on Rins shoulder Haru said “I was awake before you, you know. I’ve already told Makoto that I’m fine and that I’m not going to school today. You don’t have to worry about him showing up…” with a blank expressionless face. Rin sighed with relief and ran one hand through his hair. Not that he had anything against Makoto, it was just that he wanted to be together with Haru for a bit more. He still felt a tiny bit anxious. Haru had said that he liked him and wanted to be together with him and they had even kissed. But just what kind of like was it, how deep did it go? Just looking at Haru didn’t give him any answers since he still had a hard time reading him. What Rin did know though, was that he always wanted to be with Haru, he felt at ease with him.

Haru suddenly whispered something into Rins ear. It was barely audible and Rin just said “What? Did you say something?” Glancing at Haru, he didn’t know what he was thinking. “You smell” Haru said now, a bit louder. “What the fuck?!? You’re saying I smell?!? Who was it that ran around looking for you and even carrying you all the way here yesterday, idiot!” Rin burst out and glared at Haru who was still resting his head on his shoulder. Harus eyes widened slightly. “You did…?” he said. “Yeah, I was worried about you, damn it!” Haru averted his eyes. In his fit of anger, Rin hadn’t realized what he had said. When it dawned on him, his face all the way down to his neck turned red and he put his face in his hands. Ugh, damn it! Why did I have to go and say such embarrassing things! He thought. “Rin… were you actually that worried about me…?” Haru said. “Of course, idiot…” Rin mumbled through his hands. Taking a deep breath, Rin removed his hands and glanced at Haru. The look on Harus face surprised him. Haru was equally red and had a deep frown.

“You know, I’d really like to take that shower now, since you said I smell and all…could you give me some clothes?” Rin said and chuckled. Apparently what he had said had also made Haru very embarrassed and that made him incredibly happy. Now he knew that he wasn’t the only one. Haru didn’t say a word, he got out of bed and walked over to his drawer to pick out some clothes and a towel. Silently he walked over to Rin and gave the clothes and towel to him. “Thanks, I’ll go shower then…” Rin said and smiled. “I’ll go make some breakfast” Haru replied, back to his expressionless face again. “Okay” Rin said and got out of the bed making his way to the bathroom.

When Rin got out of the shower wearing Harus, clothes he felt refreshed and a bit weird. Casually wearing Harus clothes like this, at his house. Going down the stairs to eat the breakfast that he was preparing. The clothes were a bit tight, but that was at least better than wearing his sweaty clothes. When Rin reached the kitchen, Haru was already sitting at the table waiting for him. Of course, the breakfast consisted of mackerel, Rin shrugged and sat down quietly. Now there was this super awkward silence. Rin with a slight grimace on his face, not that he hated mackerel, but he wanted at least bread or something. Well, there was no helping it. The fact that Haru was a mackerel freak was no secret. He seriously ate everything with mackerel. Rin glanced at Haru and he was just eating with a blank face, though he didn’t look as pale as he had yesterday. That made Rin a bit relieved. 

Haru was the first one to break the silence by asking “Are you going back to the dorms when you’ve finished eating?” “Oh, yeah, I am. I’ve got swim practice today so...” Rin replied. They both finished eating and Haru went to wash the plates. But for some reason, Rin thought that Haru looked sort of down. Or was it just his imagination? Haru didn’t even look at him. Or maybe he’s just not completely fine yet and watched Haru closely. “Well... I guess I should head back” Rin said when Haru was done washing. He hesitated. In fact, he didn’t actually want to leave. Though he knew he had to, that annoying roommate of his was probably worried too.

Standing by the front door Rin said “Bye, then” and just as he was about to open the door, Haru grabbed his wrist and said “Don’t go...” with a pleading voice. This was not something Rin had expected and stared wide-eyed at Haru. His heart clenched. What was he supposed to do? It was a bad idea to skip more of school. He gulped and pulled Haru into a bone-crushing hug. He inhaled deeply and said “I actually don’t want to either, but I have to”. Without saying anything Haru wrapped his arms around Rin and let his hands rest on his shoulder blades.

They just stood there, feeling the others warmth. Rins heart fluttered and he mumbled “Maybe we could hang out this weekend or something...?” and kissed Harus head. “And do what?” Haru replied, nuzzling into Rins neck. “I don’t know, maybe go watch a movie or something”. “Are you asking me out on a date?” Haru replied. Rin jerked back and stuttered “W-w-what-”, he stopped when he saw the look on Harus face. He looked at him expectantly and his eyes were shining, the hue of them a tad bit darker. He had never thought about it like that, when he suggested they do something together. But, that was about right, wasn’t it? They had confessed to each other that they wanted to be together, after all. Rin tilted his head to the side averting his eyes and said “Sure...But make sure to keep your cell phone with you so I can at least contact you, about time and place”. By now, Rins cheeks were burning hot and he still didn’t dare look at the guy in his arms. Haru just smiled softly, kissed Rin on the cheek and said “I’ll look forward to it”.      

 

 

 

  

**Author's Note:**

> I have already posted this a while ago on ff.net ^^' and please tell me if Rin and Haru are in character, feedback is always appreciated!


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